Who'da Thunk It? My 3-yr-old did!

Since our oldest learned to talk, I've been jotting down some of the funny words/phrases he comes up with. He's downright hysterical without even trying and it's fascinating to be able to catch a glimpse of what goes through a 3-yr-old's mind. Someday I'll put all of the quotes together into some sort of book and surprise him with it when the time is right. But for now, here are snippets of some of our most recent conversations:

Every time we drive to school, we pass this gorgeous house and I go on and on about how perfect it is for us and how I would love to live there. In typical "guy fixes the problem" fashion, Bobby says, "Let's knock on the door and ask nicely if we can have their house. If we say 'please' they will let us have it, right, Mama?"

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Bobby: No, David, you can't play this game. You have to be THREE to play. You're only one.
Me: Hmmm....guess I can't play either then. I'm 32, not 3.
Bobby: No, Mama. What I meant was.....you have to be either 3 OR 32 to play.

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Bobby: Mama, what are you doing?
Me: I'm highlighting my hair, Bobby. See the box? I want my hair to look like that.
Bobby: (grimacing) I really liked your other hair better.

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(while driving home from school)

Bobby: Mama, I want to invite everyone in class to my birthday party.
Me: Well, we've got some time...your birthday isn't until April...
Bobby: I want to invite the boy in the white shirt. What's his name?
Me: I didn't see who was wearing white today.
Bobby: He was wearing a WHITE shirt, remember?
Me: Bobby, I didn't really notice what everyone was wearing today.
Bobby: But he said he wants to come.
Me: How about we figure out the details and THEN invite people, ok?
Bobby: Ok....he ate Cheese-Its for snack today. You know? It was that boy. The one in the white shirt who ate Cheese-Its. NOW do you know his name?

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(I hear David start to cry down the hall...)

Bobby: Mama, I don't know why he's crying. I didn't hit him in the back of the head with a car!!

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Bobby: Is it tomorrow yet?
Me: Nope, it's today.
Bobby: Now, is it?
Me: Still today, Bobby.
Bobby: But I want to see Grandpa Greg and Grandma Lisa TODAY.
Me: I know, but we have a few things we need to do before that happens, Bobby.
Bobby: Is it Wednesday?
Me: Tuesday. Still Tuesday. And when you ask again in two minutes, it will still be Tuesday...

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(a completely naked-for-no-reason Bobby rounds the corner...)

Bobby: Mama, I picked a piece of snot out of my nose but couldn't find a trash can...so I just shoved it back in.

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Rob: Bobby, you sound like a broken record when you ask over and over again.
Bobby: What's a record?
Rob: ...you sound like a skipping CD.

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Bobby: Come look at the oven, Mom!
Me: Are you helping me cook? Aw, that's sweet, Bobby.
Bobby: No, I want you to find the piece of snot I just put in the oven.

What is the obsession with snot in this house???

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Bobby: Mama, I need to you kiss my ear. Somebody kicked it.
Me: What? How'd they do that? Were you on the floor?
Bobby: No.
Me: Well, I don't think anyone is tall enough to get their foot to your ear. How'd it happen?
Bobby: He kicked it with his foot.
Me: Were you bent down?
Bobby: No, standing up. Oh wait, I was laying on the floor.
Me: Ok...what were you doing on the floor?
Bobby: Laying there.
Me: But why?
Bobby: I don't know. I think I was really standing though. I laid on the floor a different time.

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Bobby: Mama, when I was a baby, my first words were "Dada", "Mama", and "David."
Me: Well, not "David." He wasn't born when you were a baby so you had no reason to say his name.
Bobby: But he says my name.
Me: Yes...he has a reason to. You didn't.
Bobby: But I DID say "David." Maybe you just don't remember.

Ahhhh.....kids. :)